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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24732718">It Matters</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/startrekkingaroundasgard/pseuds/startrekkingaroundasgard'>startrekkingaroundasgard</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pride Prompts 2020 [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Acceptance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), LGBTQ Themes, Pride, Reader-Insert</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:55:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,772</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24732718</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/startrekkingaroundasgard/pseuds/startrekkingaroundasgard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The reader is genderfluid and struggling with how to express/accept themself. Loki realises what is happening and comforts and reassures them.</p><p>Based on request: Could you do a fic for a genderfluid person (they/them) discovering that Loki is genderfluid too? Like they feel invalid and scared of coming out and Loki realises that and just becomes a support and ally to them? I just see fluid Loki being so open and encouraging the reader to do the same. And like a side of super accepting Thor please, like Thor doesn't miss a beat and is awesome.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki (Marvel) &amp; Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pride Prompts 2020 [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768873</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It Matters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"She'll be keeping an eye on you throughout your stay. You report to her twice a day. Understood?"</p><p>Loki nodded, paying Steve's rules little attention. The words flowed over his skin, drifted through one ear and straight out of the other like distant background music. His focus was instead solely on you. </p><p>Your grip on your pen tightened, the plastic biro creaking under the pressure. Before it could snap you set it on the countertop and turned away from him - and the rest of the team, he realised. Loki caught your reflection in the window, saw the anguish on your face and the tense set of your shoulders. </p><p>Curious. Concerning. </p><p>Each time Loki visited Midgard, he noticed these strange behaviours worsening. What had started as simply pulling away during conversations, keeping quiet during the awful banter that sustained team morale and only inputting important mission details, was now an almost clear disconnect from the others. </p><p>Your clothes sat awkwardly on your frame and you meekly matched Hawkeye's laughter at his terrible jokes as he prepared yet another jug of coffee to take away. The moment that you were alone again, the smile fell, the facade shattering to reveal the pain beneath the surface. </p><p>Loki had watched your condition worsen over the past weeks and couldn't stand it any longer. As you turned and walked away, slinking off into the shadows without acknowledging the rest of your team, he knew he had to act now. </p><p>Waving his hand in the air, he cut off Captain Rogers mid speech. Loki had heard it a hundred times before anyway, practically every time that he came to visit from Asgard. There was a very high chance that he'd be able to recite it word for word if pressed. Honestly, Steve should try and impart a bit more variety into his threatening attempts to keep Loki's behaviour in line. Perhaps a song and dance. That would certainly hold his interest longer. </p><p>Steve stared back at Loki with an open mouth, unable to believe the gall of the god to interrupt mid rant. Loki offered a blinding smile and said, "Yes, yes, Captain. I am aware of the rules. You have my word that I shall abide by them. No murder and no disrupting the local way of life."</p><p>    "Try global."</p><p>    "Oh, fine. If I absolutely must. Now I really do have places to be."</p><p>Not giving the blond the opportunity to hold him back, Loki strode off down the hallway with all the confidence he could muster. In reality, he had no idea where he was heading other than after you but he'd found that a strong stride and a head held high did wonders for self esteem. Almost anything seemed achievable if one simply believed that they could do it. </p><p>And so he let his feet guide him blindly through The Compound until he finally stumbled upon you, just as he knew he would. </p><p>It was a lovely day by Midgardian standards, not as warm as Asgard in the spring but Loki preferred the slight chill of the wind. The sun shone brightly overhead and the bright blue sky was perfectly clear of clouds. The sounds of the city drifted over the water, carried on the breeze, but the manic cries of day to day human life were distant and easily lost beneath the rustling of the leaves in the trees and the gentle bird song. </p><p>Loki took a seat beside you, legs hanging over the edge where you folded yours beneath you. He stared out across the grounds of the compound, watched the little SHIELD agents scuttle about like an army of worker ants. It was nice up here. He could understand why this was the place you came to hide from your worries.</p><p>    "I apologise on behalf of your teammates' ignorance."</p><p>You turned to Loki, thinly veiled surprise spreading through your features. "I don't - what do you mean?"</p><p>    "It can be troubling when those that you care about refer to you in the wrong way."</p><p>    "It doesn't matter."</p><p>    "Of course it does," Loki said, already plotting a suitable revenge for anyone who had ever made you feel as if your identity was invalid. He'd been lucky; on Asgard, gender and sexuality were antiquated concepts. The courtiers accepted him and had learned with him across the years to recognise the fluidity of his gender. When they got it wrong, they immediately adjusted their viewpoints and everything continued as normal. </p><p>There had been a minority that mocked him and thought him lesser but Loki had discovered at a young age that a punch to the face did those sorts of people good. Even better, he'd learned many spells that took away their ability to speak - to name but a few: sticking their lips together, temporarily (or permanently, if the mood took him) removing their vocal chords, filling their throat with frogs. Whichever magics he used, their silence was a blessing not just to him but to all in Asgard. </p><p>His gaze still fixed on the horizon, aware of how irritating it was to be stared at, studied like an oddity, but worse to feel so vulnerable. Out of the corner of his eyes, though, he was incredibly vigilant of how you tugged on the edge of your shirt, twisting and pulling it into an entirely different shape and fit before dropping your hands and allowing it to return to its natural state.  </p><p>Loki said gently, "You know, you needn't wear clothes that make you feel uncomfortable. Gender is not how you dress."</p><p>    "I don't know how else to express my gender. I thought it would make it easier. Dress one way for masculine, another for feminine. Natasha noticed. We spoke about fluidity one night but in a sort of… abstract way. She understood and will switch pronouns when she notices the change but it doesn't feel right."</p><p>    "Which pronouns do you prefer?" </p><p>    "It doesn't-"</p><p>    "Please," Loki said softly. He wasn't a mind reader but your fear was palpable. It electrified the air between you and it crushed Loki's heart to imagine how you had suffered. "You have my word that I will accept your answer wholeheartedly."</p><p>A few long moments passed before you finally replied, "They. Them."</p><p>    "Understood."</p><p>Anger bubbled through Loki's veins at your utter shock over his easy reply. What a broken world Midgard was if one small act of acceptance was enough to bring tears to your eyes. Loki suddenly regretted swearing his good behaviour to Steve. </p><p>For the first time since he had sat beside you, you lifted your gaze from your lap and met Loki's. A small but important step forward. "What are yours?" </p><p>    "It shifts," he replied. "Today? He. Tomorrow? I will not know until I awake in the morning. But rest assured that I shall tell you if you address me wrong. Have you told your team?"</p><p>Your silence answered for you.</p><p>    "The swing doesn't have to be so drastic. Take myself, for example. On the days I feel feminine, I do not wear a dress. I do not lavish my face with makeup as other maidens in the kingdom might. Sadly, I am yet to find a shade that really makes my eyes sparkle," he explained, earning a soft laugh in response. He smiled, almost proud to have made you smile if only for a minute. </p><p>    "No, instead, I find myself taking more time to braid my hair. I wear shirts constructed with softer fabrics. On my more masculine days, I like to wash with my apple scented soaps instead of the floral ones. I may change my appearance, or I may simply stay the same as before.</p><p>    "There are days when I am certain I am entirely a goddess and yet I shall wear my blockiest armour and allow my beard to grow out. Others, when I know I am neither male nor female, I cut my hair and paint my nails. What I am trying to say is that there is no one way to express your gender. All that matters is that you do what feels right." </p><p>You studied him for a moment, no doubt attempting to pick out the defining features of his look today. Whatever conclusion you reached seemed to be in favour of what he was saying as a soft smile graced the corners of your lips. As quickly as it appeared, though, it vanished and Loki wondered if it had been nothing more than a hopeful trick of the light. </p><p>    "I wouldn't know how to start working that sort of thing out."</p><p>    "Slowly," Loki replied. "That is the only way. I have the benefit of being able to shift my form and disguise a badly conceived hair cut which unfortunately may not be the case for you however the point stands. Take it slowly, a little step at a time, and remind yourself every single day that what you are feeling is valid."</p><p>    "Sounds easier said than done."</p><p>It was. It had taken Loki millennia to reach this level of acceptance in himself and he would be a fool to expect you to do it any faster. His hand hovered over your knee, as close to a comforting gesture as he could manage. "I will not lie to you. It will be a long and difficult process. However, you are not alone. Whenever you require an ear to hear your concerns or a shoulder to cry on, you have my word that one shall be there for you. The same applies for your victories, too."</p><p>    "And when you are away on Asgard? What then?"</p><p>    "My dear brother. For his many irritating characteristics, Thor understands the highs and lows which come with exploring your identity. He was always there for me as a child and continues to support my decisions to this day. I am certain that he will provide the same comfort for you, should you ever require it."</p><p>    "Thank you, Loki."</p><p>    "Please, do not thank me. You deserve to experience kindness and acceptance every single day."</p><p>Your sad smile returned but there was hope in your eyes. You lifted a hand and touched the braid at the side of his face uncertainly. "Can you teach me how to do this?"</p><p>    "It would be my pleasure. However, I do suggest that we retire inside to where the wind is less enthusiastic. You'll find it far easier to learn when your hair is not blowing wildly in your eyes." Loki jumped to his feet and offered you his hand, pulling you upright with ease. Gesturing towards the door, he said, "After you."</p>
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